Catching Up - February 2009

My husband is now crazy blogger, so during this week off between jobs I figured I can try to catch up on my blog and perhaps rekindle my love of sharing my life with the public (all, three of you ;-). I will begin with what happened following my last real post in January.....

This past February Peter & I decided to make some decisions. We most notably needed to decide on when we would get married & where we would be living. The decision to stay in Rochester turned out to be an easy one. We decided that Rochester was where we wanted to be, at least the next few years. We decided that we would buy a house & I would get a new job. So, it would be our goal to get married before fall. In the beginning of February we decided to start looking into our options. Shorty after this decision something happened that made me step it up and want to finalize all of our wedding plans sooner than expected...

On February 19th my Nana passed away. While she had been in the hospital since December, her passing was anything but expected. It was a complete surprise- a devastating surprise to our entire family. Nana was the cornerstone of our big, crazy family. It was impossible to think of continuing our family traditions without her.

I had been planning on visiting her in the hospital on February 20th after Peter & I were to meet with the venue that we were pretty sure we'd be having the wedding reception at. I was confident that we would be choosing this venue & then I could go to the hospital & give my Nana something to work toward getting better for. I can't really explain the feeling of never getting to say good-bye to her. Devastating is the only word that comes even close.

Following my Nana's funeral & the aftermath I knew that Peter & I needed to set a date ASAP & get our asses moving on wedding planning. Nana's death taught me that you have no idea what tomorrow will bring, so don't put off til tomorrow what you can do today. We set our wedding reception date the day after my Nana's funeral- we decided on Saturday, September 5th, 2009. Now we would only have to decide on the wedding ceremony's date and location which we wanted to occur a few days prior......

Nana on her 77th birthday, just before being admitted to the hospital.

Where Have I Been?

It's been a long 8 months since I've last written. At some point (hopefully soon) I will catch up on the year's events. Most notably would be that I got married 4 weeks ago.
I'll leave on that note for now.

Wedding Planning

I've been engaged for almost 6 months. I don't have a wedding date.... I don't even have a year. I don't know where my wedding will be.... I don't even know what city. I'm starting to think the wedding will never happen....not really it will happen, but every time I try to decide something I get stressed out and change the subject.

I've never really known what kind of wedding I've wanted. Growing up my thoughts ran the spectrum from eloping in Vegas, to a destination wedding on a beach in Mexico, to a more traditional wedding in a big tent somewhere in Buffalo. Before Peter and I got engaged we pretty much had the same idea about a wedding. We wanted something small, and then a big party. I'd have the dress, photographer and a nice dinner for the wedding (with only parents & siblings) and then a big party catered by Dinosaur BBQ at a park for the "reception." Unfortunately, I've learned that it's way more complicated to plan a non-traditional wedding than what is the norm. It probably doesn't help that I'm neurotic about people drinking & driving, and am dead set on an outdoor venue. Basically, I have no clue what we're going to do.

We'll eventually get married. I'm sure of that much. I'm ready to be married; I'm just not ready to have a wedding. While my indecisiveness is undeniable when it comes to wedding planning, I've never for a second doubted that I want to get married to Peter. I think this is pretty big for me. I'm absolutely horrible at making decisions. I can hardly pick a restaurant for dinner, or outfit to wear out. Perfect example: I made Peter spend literally 45 minutes with me at Dicks deciding on snow pants. Once I picked the style I had to decide between black or white. You can ask Peter, but I'm pretty sure it was an excruciatingly painful experience for him. I'm the kind of person who thinks EVERY decision she makes must be 100% correct. I have to be 100% sure that I am not making a mistake, or (as I see it) I will be a failure. So, when I say that I've had zero doubts about the man I am planning to marry, that's pretty big. It also offers me comfort that some things aren't difficult, and that when it's right, you just know. Thus, I will just continue to pour over all my wedding magazines in hopes that the perfect wedding for me will appear before me one day. And if it doesn't, then oh well. A wedding last only a day, but a marriage will be forever!