Cancer! Is it Cancer?!

Today I was once again reminded why I need to think twice before having children. To put it simply, I would be the most paranoid, neurotic mother EVER!

Peter called and e-mailed me shortly after I got to work today. He told me that something was wrong with Muffin. Apparently when he got out of the shower he saw a bunch of blood in the kitchen and drops in my bedroom. Muffin was hiding out in the closet. It seemed like she was sneezing blood out of her nose and she may had thrown some up. I got scared right away. I knew there was a vet's office down the street from me, so I asked Peter if he would call to see if he could take her in. Of course he did not hesitate to say he would.

I got off the phone and told a few people what was going on. Of course there is always that one person who tells you the absolute worst thing that you need to hear at that moment. She's like, "I had a cat that threw up blood. I won't tell ya what happened to her, but it was not good." Seriously. Who says that?! I calm down a bit and then the unnamed co-worker says something else that makes me cry. All I can think is that my poor baby Muffin has cancer. Not only does she have cancer, but she has such bad cancer that I will never even be able to see her again. Seriously.

Finally, Peter calls to tell me that he had to take her to some vet ER. The conclusion the doctor came to is that the blood was probably caused by trauma. She probably fell from somewhere, ran into something, her baby sister bitch-slapped her, etc. All are possibilities. Of course, there is the possibility that she does in fact have cancer, but that is very unlikely since she's so young. The doctor felt pretty sure that it was trauma induced bleeding (or at least that's what I'm told....I suppose Peter could've made that all up to save me the heartache of knowing my kitty has cancer.....let's not think about that).

So, I came home to my poor pitiful Muffin, and she kinda looks like she was beat up today. She looks like shit and all she wants to do is sleep. So, I am staying by her side hoping for a speedy recovery. Here's a picture of her during happier times:



So, as you can see, if I were to have children this would be a million times worse. I don't think I could deal with this stuff. I mean, yeah, a kid runs into a wall and gets a bloody nose, I could get over that and survive. But, cancer and other serious things? I don't think I could ever begin to deal with that. I'm sure most mothers would say the same thing, but the thing is that I worry about that stuff and I don't even have any offspring! Imagine if I did!

**Oh, and before ending this post, I would like to thank Peter for being the best boyfriend in the world. Thank you for putting your life on hold, missing hours of work, finding a vet, comforting Muffin, and doing it all without complaining or telling me that I owe you! I love you & so does Muffin (and to a lesser extent Hallie)!

On the Road Again

So, I think I've calmed down a bit since yesterday. Mostly that's because my car problems have been handled. After digging my car out of a snow bank Sunday it appeared to have a bit of a vibrating problem when I exceeded 40 MPH. I was little scared to drive it. I did some research online, and it looked as if it could be a variety of problems. I kept my fingers crossed that it was just snow & ice caked on somewhere, but I still worried that I tore out something in the undercarriage of my car. So, after driving 65 miles to work Monday morning with my hands going numb from the vibrations I decided I best get my ass to a mechanic. Luckily, I needed an oil change as well, so the guy at Meineke checked out my car (Free of charge, thankfully! I always worry about getting taken advantage of when it comes to my car.) after the oil change and told me there was no problem. Yeah! All the snow and ice must've melted while my car was out in the sun all day. So, I was able to drive all the way home without going numb! Good news #1!

Also, I've had this ongoing problem with my tires. They are done for. I was told they were "balled" at approximately 32,000 miles. I am now at 38,000 miles. This is not good. However, in my defense, I have been totally getting screwed when trying to purchase these damn tires! The original Michelin tires on my car are shit, so I knew I needed to find a new brand. Peter & I researched and came up with some kind of Kumho tires. Well, after ordering online I was called and told that the tires would not be appropriate for my car and thus they could not put them on. Jigga what? They came up on all the searches and came highly recommended! Apparently they are T-rated. I need V or H-rated. For all of you who are "car dumb," like me, that is the speed rating. T-rated allows for up to 118 MPH. Since my car is capable of going faster, I need a higher rating (Something that could've been brought to my attention yesterday!!!). So, in my second attempt to purchase tires I took Peter's second recommendation of General Altimax something or other. Well, days later I was notified that they are on back order and would take around 8 weeks to come in. Uh, pretty sure my car's not gonna last that long considering that'll put me at another 5,000 miles on the already balled tires. Well, FINALLY, I spoke with Dunn Tire today and ordered tires after doing my own research. I felt so independent picking out my own tires without Peter! Hopefully they will be pretty sweet!

And that is all. Apparently Meineke and tires are all I needed to cheer me up! Oh, and I'm picking up Peter from the airport tomorrow from work, so that doesn't hurt either.

Losing It

I am not having a good weekend sans boyfriend! Not that it's entirely his fault, but I planned on having a really fun week/weekend and get my shit together as well. Unfortunately God had other plans for me.

I dropped Peter off at the airport 5 am on Tuesday morning. I was then left to clean my apartment, workout, go shopping, cook food, and some other stuff. I was pretty much done with all that crap by 5 pm on Thursday.

Needless to say, I was ecstatic to be going out with Ab on Friday! Unfortunately, around noon on Friday the snow started. Sons of bitches. Now, snow doesn't normally stop me from going out. However, when one lives an hour away her plans are not as flexible. The roads are unpredictable lately, and what if they decided to close the 90 again, like they did a few weeks ago? My kitties were home without much food, and I had to take Hallie to the vet on Saturday morning. So, much to our dismay Ab & I postponed our plans. In the end this was probably a wise decision. It took me 1 hour and 45 minutes to get home. Thankfully my driving was in the daylight too, 'cause the snow in the dark sucks! I spent Friday night going out of my mind! I was already stir crazy and the storm had just begun.

Saturday morning I dug my car out and in the end decided that it would be stupid to try to drive to Buffalo with Hallie for her vet appointment. So, my poor sick baby with brown snot did not go see Dr. Mineo. (In my defense, she's really not that different than usual. She's still the happiest kitty on the block. Sometimes her lungs sound bad, and she has crazy sneezing fits, so I thought I would FINALLY take her in. Like I said, God had other plans for me.) So, Saturday sucked ass! I eventually dug out my car and attempted to leave my godforsaken apartment, but the freezing rain scared me back to the indoors. So, I spent the day/night/afternoon cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. BORING!

It was around this time that I realized that the only thing keeping my in Rochester is Peter. I have nothing else here. I wanted to be back in my Highland apartment sooooo freaking bad this weekend that it hurt! Am I being too mellow dramatic for you?! I hope not, 'cause it's the truth. Everything is in Buffalo, and in reality I don't even live in Rochester. I live in stupid Churchville! I'm really, really ready for nice weather. I'm hoping it will cheer me up and alleviate much of my stress (the weekly panic attacks are enough to drive one insane). If not, I may be heading back west come fall. That's how much this week has brought me down.

I'll stop whining for now. I just though I'd update you all on how my new life has been going considering that my move is the title of my entire blog.