Tuesday, June 3, 2008

I Quit!

I'm a quitter.

It's true. I always have been a quitter. I suppose I'm not as bad as I was in my youth. I no longer quit games if I'm losing, so that's progress. I just have a tendency to give up if things aren't going my way. For example, when Peter was teaching me to drive a standard I quit. He was having me back up out of a parking space and I just FREAKED OUT, got out of the car and walked over to the passenger side instead. I accepted defeat. I just couldn't do it.

In reality I know in my heart and brain that I am capable of doing most things if I set my mind to it. Sure, I may fail, but with perseverance, I'm sure I could accomplish most things that I set my mind to. The problem is that I hate failing at things in the meantime. Practice may make perfect, but I just want to be perfect right away and not deal with those immediate, inevitable failures that precede "perfection."

I'm not as much of a quitter as I used to be. This is mostly because I don't give myself an option to give up. The thing that I just can't seem to quit now is my job. Despite thinking that I'd be leaving it in the relatively near future, I find ways to put it off. Currently I'm working on incorporating 4 day work weeks into the schedule. Surely 3 days off during the week would make a job more tolerable, right? So, this is my new challenge. I'm in charge of developing the schedule. I love the power of devising a plan, but I'm hating the actual work and compromise involved. Maybe I'll quit just to get out of this predicament.

I don't have much else to say right now about all this. I'm just finding myself more and more frustrated each day and thought that if I said something about it I would perhaps feel better.
I don't.

1 comment:

Leigh Ann said...

If you only work 4 days a week and crash with me 1 night a week, that's only 3 days of driving. Sounds like a plan? I think soooo!